Hell For A Hustler

When a man feels like he was forced to the streets because he was limited to life options thats when the life becomes hell for a husler. I was inspired to write this paticular blog because I have lost alot of friends and family to death or prison because of the street life, It can take alot away from a mans soul, You become disconnected from reality numb to feelings, Ive been bruised and battered by this dirty game. Certain injuries I look at today makes me constantly reflect on when god put my life in his hands and saved me from death. I am very thankful for that but I find myself asking why me and not them
My husling ways started from not having, feeling like a bum my parents couldnt afford to give me finer things in life and job wasnt on my agenda when I got exposed to the hustle I ended up being as addicted to the money as the drug addicts was to what I had to offer them. There where times I knew I was taking someones last dime and they couldnt feed there children, In my head I was thinking they are going to buy it from somebody why not me I have to get this money. Now that it has hit close to home I lost all my friends ive lost love ive lost dignity and comfort, My soul is not the same life has become hell for a hustler I look in the eyes of my best friends kids and i see the pain from his death ironic enough those eyes i have seen before in the kids of the addicts that i sold drugs to. People always ask me why do you always wear suits cause I remember the days when I didnt have shit the crazy thing is I have materials but at the end of the day I still dont have shit I lost alot of me in this life I really thought having cars houses made me feel better, but the life made me not be able to trust,I stay suspisious of people im so uncomfortable when it comes to giving my love and that is hell for a husler.I know that I wont make it to heaven ive done to much, I just pray that when my time comes its quick and I dont suffer, As far as pain I dont think the pain can be any worst than what i already have felt, Ive been shot stabbed had broken bones and this was by people I trusted and its made me a marked man cause I cant trust noone, everybody is out to hurt me I have one friend left and we barely see eachother, man I miss all my peeps save me a spot in hell cause I already feel like im there.