The Womanizer

Imagine a destroyed man where everything inside of him crushed to pieces, The day comes I am is excited to here those words I am pregnant I'm  already feeling like I would die for love, Now its so much better because I have a reason to, anything to protect my child that rest in the pits of her stomach its a great reason to want to live. I still recall my words I will do anything for you, I have always felt like a odd ball kid when it came to love but finally love picked me who can ask for anything more everyday I look at your stomach your looking more and more beautiful I remember nights looking at my ceiling with a silly smile thinking of names to myself wow me a dad moms happy dads proud that his son is gonna give him his first grandchild I am on top of the world my whole crew buying gifts. Moms preparing for baby shower my whole family there intermediate and distant this is a big deal for me. I have never been a dad before, A little me who would have thought a little me. Its a sunny Tuesday afternoon I'm off to do what I do, then I get a page from a unfamiliar number I call it back my mother is on the line crying I ask what's wrong, she says  I'm at the hospital the baby is born I feel instant joy then she says her grandmother asked me why am I here, The baby is not yours baby at that instance my spirit gets crushed, Then I realized love picked me to have someone to laugh at its like something you have always wanted you finally get it and then its snatched from you how can I go back and tell all my family and friends its not my child that we just had a big party for. I feel like such a fool,, That day as I dwelled in my sorrow I vowed never to trust love again even though I want .love so much, I know love doesn't want me. Every time I see love I run until I'm out of breath because I never want to feel that pain love gave me ever again, I didn't eat for along time because love sat in my stomach and made me not want food cause I wanted love, I have a loving heart but my mind hates love. Most people think I'm a dog and I love woman I do. But in all realness I love, love but love scares me, The day I stop running from love is the day I look around and I'm all alone in silence with no one to hold me, comfort me, rub me on my back and say it will be okay in tough times, those are all the things love supply but I'm afraid of the pain love gives, my whole life I thought I was going to have love for just me but the reality of it is I don't deserve love.